Researchers discover how to 3D print radio spectrum

In an transformative innovation that will disrupt spectrum management for the next generation of technologies, electrical engineers say that they have discovered how to 3D print spectrum. The research was funded by a set of paradigm-shifting investors who said in a blogpost that they wanted to “redefine how we disrupt radio spectrum policy in a transformative world”.

The engineers are based at the Spectrum Policy Office Of Friends (SPOOF), whose research director told PolicyTracker that his team accidentally discovered how to print spectrum while trying to buy tickets on a budget airlines website. He said: “You wouldn’t believe it but new spectrum is completely silent. We hope this will disrupt the prevailing paradigm of spectrum management.”

The crack team of academics are now trying to retrace their steps and find out exactly what it is they clicked on their laptops so that they can recreate the spectrum-forming conditions.

Michael Thorpe of the Alliance Against Radio Reform Group! (AARRG!) said in a prepared statement that the disruptive innovation was unlikely to transform this particular paradigm. He said: “It’s all very well disrupting the laws of physics, but how is that going to shift the paradigm without redefining how we transform spectrum?”

PolicyTracker found the minister for paying down public sector debt, Sir Michael Laidoff, in a downtown bar. In return for a drink, he said: “This is the worst day of my life.” He paused, and then added, “you’re my best mate, you are”.

Prince George was unavailable for comment.